A Mysterious New Family Project

January 23, 2008

The past few days have been consumed… completely consumed that is… with a new family project I am working on.

Check that… worked on… as in past tense… as in DONE.

It was 6 days ago to be exact that my son, Joshua, pushed the final button. He has been on me for weeks – no months – to get this project done and out the door.

Now, finally, he is satisfied and the families and children of the world can see what I’ve done.

What is the project?

Well, rather than try and retell all about it here, I’m going to send you off to actual project.

You’ll get the full story there.

But, just so you know it has do with families, raising children, and being a great, wonderful, and fantastic parent!

Gasp! WHAT? From Joshua? Stuff about families and children and parenting? Who would have thunk it? lol

Ok, enough sarcasm about my family efforts… here’s that website…

www.ForgottenFamilyClassics.com

Enjoy!

Oh, one final note, if you like it, I have created 200 coupons that will let you have this bit of magic for free… as in not payment… as in zero dollars.

But, beware! The coupons are only good until January 31!

If you want one… and I still have some… just email me or drop a request on this page. I’ll send it off to you ASAP.

You and your family will be jumping for joy… and your children will be screaming for more 😉

Ok, now you can enjoy my new project.

Advertisements

The Pure and Honest In Heart

December 10, 2007

Her angelic face radiated with pure and undefiled joy.

Her eyes glowed bright, her forehead was lifted and pushed together, and her mouth was wide open and drawn gracefully across her face in a massive, unrestrained smile.

But it wasn’t just her face… her whole body was engaged in that smile.  Her perfect hands and arms waved joyfully in the air, her legs pumped back and forth, unable to contain the excitement, and her vocal cords joined the jubilation in squeezes and coos and tiny bursts of laughter.

The whole attitude was beyond contagious and I simply could not resist smiling back at her, talking to her, holding her just a little tighter, and loving her all the more.

As I sat in my office that day, holding my 3 month old little Sariah, I wondered at the unbounded love and trust this little soul had for me.  In that moment, she knew no better, but being thrust from God’s presence into my arms, she was almost forced to love and trust me.

In that moment, I couldn’t help but cast my mind’s eye forward a couple of years.  At two, would she love and trust me this much?  And what about at five, when she was awake to the world, would this confidence grow and strengthen, or diminish?  And how about during that awkward pre-teen stage of ten… what about then? Could I still win the glowing smile and enthusiasm of her heart?

And, of course, the ultimate test of parenthood… as a teenager, filled with a whole new awaking and awareness of her agency and independence, would she turn again and again to me, believing in me, trusting, me, respecting me as a peer, and calling me her own dear and wonderful papa?

Few things in my life have so captured my attention and engaged my whole soul as the journey to finding a way to answer all of those questions in the positive.  The love and trust of my eight children is a thing that I enjoy now and want to relish in, no matter what their age, circumstance, or position in life.

So how do I ensure that I can have the sought after prize?  I can’t guarantee it, I know that much.  But, having carefully watched hundreds (if not thousands) of families, I have observed that there are lots of things that I can do, and many more things that I should not do, to increase my odds of always basking in the love and trust of my children.

Perhaps that is why a recent article in Parenting Magazine so disturbed me.  The author , Julie Tilsner, titled her article, “Why It’s Okay to Lie to Your Child (Sometimes)
A guide to little white lies, social fibs, and more — and when the truth really matters.”

When I read that article, I considered the relationship I enjoy with my wife.  I seriously questioned: “Do I tell her so called white lies and social fibs so as to strengthen our relationship?”  In fact, I thought of all the human relationships that I have… friends, neighbors, church leaders, clients, extended family, etc… Is it convenient and acceptable to lie to them now and then?

Is truth a thing that only “really matters” some of the time?

No, I will have to respectfully disagree with Parenting and Ms. Tilsner on this point.  Especially when I look into the pure and honest face of my 3 month old and, indeed, all the faces of my innocent children.

Many years ago, before the Continental Congress had convened, John Adams took up a case defending the English Red Coats who had been the force behind the Boston Massacre.  During that trial he repeatedly stated, “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”

As a parent, I believe – and try to live by – this statement.  I have learned by sad experience that if my relationships are not based on truth, honesty and integrity, then my foundation is like the proverbial sand and my house has little chance of standing.

Ms. Tilsner’s handy social guide to lying may be convenient to some, but perhaps it is actually a mini-handbook on how to erode relationships and ensure that at some distant point in the future, your children will look at you with distrust and disrespect.

I wonder if there isn’t a clue in this to the troubled teens of our days, the lack of respect for authority that far too many children possess, and the sickening divorce rates we continue to see rampant in society.

Lies, white, black, socially acceptable, small or big, undermine the truth and attempt to defy the facts.  But, facts are stubborn things.  We cannot engage in any degree of negotiating with the truth, without chipping away at our own moral fiber and damaging our relationships.

And do we really believe that our children don’t know when we lie?  I think of the words of Mary MacCracken, “Nobody spots a phony quicker than a child.”

So, while a little nip and tuck of the truth may be convenient for us at times and sociably acceptable, it is not right, nor will it build and strengthen the relationships we have with our children.

As parents, each of us has a choice to make in every interaction with our children: Will we be socially acceptable… or respected of our children?  We can listen to the voices saying it is OK to lie a little and cheat a little, or we can turn our ear to the voice that still whispers and calls to us from Mount Sinai in words that have defied conventional wisdom for thousands of years, “Thou shall not bear false witness.”

Looking into the beaming face of my newborn daughter, I’m moved to try at little harder at always telling the truth so that at 20 years old, her look of trust and love will have grown and not faded away.


The Great Pumpkin Caper

October 18, 2007

Looking in the rear-view mirror, I could see the grin splitting his face underneath eyes that were firm, determined, and dancing with excitement all at the same time.

Our big brown van – a 15 passenger Ford Clubwagon – is hardly what you would call “inconspicuous”, but that only added to the fun challenge that we had given ourselves. My son Joshua had the “package” – a orange, jack-o-lantern shaped goodie bag filled with licorice and bags of popcorn – in his hand and was standing by the double-wide side door, with one hand on the handle, ready to leap out at a moment’s notice.

Driving casually, as if nothing was happening, we passed right by the house. Giggles erupted from the back seats as I said, “We’ll just drive right by, like nothing is happening… they’ll never even notice us!” “Never notice us! Right dad!” I could hear Esther saying. That made everyone laugh all the more.

Once past the house, I stopped and looked back… only to see the lady of the house looking out the big, massive windows on the south side of the house. Hehe.. Sure, they’d never see us or suspect us. After all, we were the only ones in the neighborhood that had a big brown 15 passenger van! Humm, maybe I should have pulled forward out of eye sight of those windows!

And Margie told me as much, “Pull forward, honey – at least TRY to be secretive about this!” More laughter – except from Joshua. He’d been given a mission and was determined to fulfill it.

Of course it would be Joshua – my 9-year-old. Everyone knew it. He is by far the fasted runner of our children. Plus, he is clever about things and would know just how and where to put the secret package so as to get away the fastest.

I pulled forward out of line of sight. Turning around, I gave Joshua the “signal.” In a flash he was out of the car, running low along the fence line, creeping along side our victim’s car, pausing to assess the situation. “Hum – front door or back door? Dog at the front door – he’s sure to bark and blow my cover. Back door is only a few feet from their car – the car will be good cover for me on the get-away.”

With cat-like stealth he was gone, passing like a shadow from the car to the backdoor, always keeping a tight grip on the large treat bag – the “package” – that he held in his hands. Victory was in sight.. .here came the drop… now the doorbell… reaching, reaching… and then… CRISIS! RED ALERT! RETREAT!

Just at that moment, the lady of the house had decided to come to the back hallway to hang up a sweater. With a shock of thrill, Joshua realized that if he rang that bell, she would be sure to look straight at him. The better part of reason took over and his hand withdrew – they’d find it when they came out to the car… no bell needed.

The small shadow crossed down the stairs again and with the speed of lighting he shot across the driveway, back behind the car and then retraced his steps down the fence line where the get-away car waited with door open, ready to flee into the night!

As we sped away and rounded the corner, the entire interior of the car erupted with screams of glee and cries of laughter! The feeling of pure thrill and excitement filled each heart as we thought of the little deed of secret service we had just pulled off. To think of the happiness that goodie bag would bring the children in that home and the fun they would have guessing, “Who dunit??!!” was more than we could bear!

In the 90 seconds it took to get home and out of the car, I realizee something… there it was again – that feeling. The feeling of family. The feeling of unrestrained joy. The feeling of happiness and excitement. The feeling of enthusiasm. The feeling of unity and love with everyone in the family.

It was the “Home Feeling.”

Oh! How I LOVE that feeling. It just sends tingles up and down my spine. It melts away all the stress and struggle and turmoil of life. It brings out the sunshine and dispels clouds of doom. It makes life worth-while. It makes everything OK.

Yep… we had the “Home Feeling” something strong that night… the night of the great pumpkin caper.